I was thinking about this question all night long. If so, how does she look, how is she behaving? Does she know how to do it all or is it the intuition that does the thing to the smallest detail?
I believe that every mother is perfect for her child and I try to encourage myself even if I realize I make a lot of mistakes. I am a perfectionist and I find it very difficult to accept mistakes, especially when it comes to me, I am my biggest critic. Motherhood is one of the hardest jobs, if not the hardest, but it comes with a lot of satisfaction.
I’ve read a lot about how to recognize every stage babies go through, how they go, how often they are and how they manifest themselves, how to get over hard times more easily, all that since Robert came into my life… I always knew that days do not resemble with each other, this applies to motherhood, whether you have a routine or not. What can you do when you feel like nothing works, whatever you try? When baby cries no matter what you do, whether you put him for a swing or hold him in your arms? When he doesn’t want to fall asleep at all, and you know he’ll be a lot more tired and more irritated as time passes? I would love to find answers to all my questions.
I’m still trying to get him used to sleeping in his crib, I like to have him next to me, it’s very comfortable to breastfeed at night and his sleep is almost uninterrupted, he usually wakes up to eat and goes back to sleep. In fact, he just falls asleep when he’s nursing, he rarely does it different. But he hits me with his legs really hard and I imagine in a few months i will be jumping out from bed in the middle of the night because of his kicks. He’s very strong, he’s always been, even before he was born. My liver was in a state of chronic numbness when he discovered it.
For more than two weeks now we have started weaning. He only eats when he wants, but there is no problem, milk is still essential for at least another half a year. He didn’t have any side effects because of the vegetables so far, I plan to introduce a new vegetable every three days. Today I chose the nap, Ireland has it on the list of vegetables you can give to your baby, but I will probably give up because I found him bloated. I can’t be sure, however, that he had this effect because of the nap, he didn’t eat too much, he just took a teaspoon to taste it.
It’s 3 am, Robert’s almost asleep after a two-hours crying episode. Nothing would have predicted what had just happened. I can’t sleep and I’m trying to find the reason of his crying. He began to cry so hard that he could barely breathe between his sighs. Nothing could settle him. I don’t even know what happened. Perhaps because of teething, some stomach pain because of the newly introduced food, an ugly dream, a fear of something … and the list can go on.
How can you not feel like you’re the „worst” mother in the entire universe when you see that you can not help him, and when you don’t have a clue? Frustration is there, anxiety is even greater because you don’t know what’s going on. Nothing can prepare you for mommy life, no matter how many things you’ve seen or heard before. Every child is different, everyone has his own personality and there is no pattern to follow.
So I come back to my question: is there a perfect mom, who knows every second what happens to her baby? I’d also need a few lessons.