This is for you, Robert!
Caution: Emotional blog post!
The first thing I would like to say is that I created this blog to write about motherhood. I adored this period since I was a child, I could see a perfect combination between the pregnant woman and the miracle and privilege of becoming a mom, from aspects like shiny skin and beautiful hair to the beauty of the pregnant body. I always wanted to be a mom.
My husband and I, we went through lots of adventures together, we got married in 2012 and after a short period we came to Ireland. We planed to have a baby, but we couldn’t find the right moment for that to happen. The time was passing by and we were losing a bit of patience with every single day. Finally, after days and nights, months thinking about having a family, we got our miracle: the second line unexpectedly appeared in a November morning to let us know that a beautiful baby was growing.
The entire period was a wonderful experience. I enjoyed every single move, I was laughing when he was kicking and I was trying to concentrate over something. The day we first heard his heartbeat, the first ultrasound, when he was moving so much , was like letting us know that he is aware of what is happening… These are precious memories. We went to ante-natal classes, we wanted to gather as much information as possible, he was kicking so bad as he would know that all the speech was about babies. I enjoyed every moment, except the one when I fell on ice, i was frightened that it could have consequences. Fortunately wasn’t the case, babies are very well protected inside.
I traveled by plane, was a big challenge, especially the return flight. At 27 weeks of pregnancy we found out that we’re going to have a baby boy and I’ve seen his face during a 4D ultrasound, that was nice, my feeling was true. We were preparing everything for his birth, we were successfully following all the steps, the maternity bag was the only one that needed to be done. Hospital checks were more often at the end of the pregnancy, the belly was huge and heavy.
We chose a first name, were thinking about the middle one, but Robert enjoyed very much his stay inside and didn’t want to get out. After a long night, with long walks in the hospital, on the 12th of July, he was ready to meet us. That was the longest day of my life. My plan changed in the evening and we had to go through an emergency C-section. My beautiful baby, with white skin, clean, freshly taken out from mommy’s wound, came and I heard him whimper. His daddy took him but he was missing the warmth and smell he was familiar with. I will never forget the moment when the doctor presented him, I was shivering maybe because of the fever or simply because of emotion… I still have that feeling.
Days were passing by, I felt like a robot for at least 2 weeks after giving birth, because of fatigue and sleep deprivation. First in the hospital, I couldn’t sleep at all, I was wondering if he’s well, I was watching him sleeping, my feet were excessively swollen, I was using the double pump in the breastfeeding room (I’ll write later on an entire article about breastfeeding experience). I could sleep well after the first two days for 6 hours and the midwife told me that it was wrong. He was sleeping a lot, I barely could wake him up and I didn’t have patience.
We’ve been through bad times too, combined with tiredness, it’s not easy to raise a baby by yourself when you can barely take care of yourself. I don’t know if cramps affected him, he had signs until about 2,5 months of age, I tried every single medicine available but we’ve had adverse effects so I gave up. I could only breastfeed him with the hairdryer on, I thought it would last forever, but now he’s afraid of that sound. He wasn’t a crier, I couldn’t let him cry either.
Oh, those were unique moments and time has gone too fast. He is already 6 months. Now I’m sitting here, writing and watching him sleep at dawn, with a feeling of late excitement, wondering when he grew up so fast… I simply adore him when he is nesting next to me, with his beautiful smile and his pure laughter, which betrays his well-being. Time is flying, all we keep is the collection of pictures and videos. I am so proud of my baby boy and so happy that he is in my life that I can’t imagine being without him now. The truth is that it’s not easy, you definitely need a village to raise a baby, you have ups and downs and you can’t avoid them, I have days when I wonder if I’m doing it right, I take a deep breath and go on with the flow.
This is the story of our lives up to the moment I decided to write on the blog. 😊